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To female Egyptians: Sex isn’t an area for experience exchange!

on December 25, 2010

Yesterday, I was talking with my dearest friend ever and the bride to be, Eman Ahmed. It was a pure girls’ talk; discussing what she should buy for her new home, how she should choose and how she can ignore people’s advice and follow her own likeness. I adopted the role of the bigger more experienced sister, a function that I love to take whenever a chance passes by.

When it comes to sex, which allow me to refer to from now on with the letter ‘S’ out of my own eastern shyness, I take a step backward.

Actually I don’t like to give S advice. As an Eastern girl, I was raised up on the basis that S related issues are a taboo. As a Muslim, I was also taught that personal S talks are not allowed between friends. As myself, I was totally convinced that it is too private and too personal.

Most of this is well known for most Egyptians. However, it seems that every Egyptian married lady thinks she is a marriage consultant and should give advice to pathetic brides to be; so that they are well informed of things they will encounter.

In Egypt, there is no space to ask “are you a virgin?” Simply, this is because virginity is the norm. Ladies are virgin until married, which is a good thing from my own humble religious perspective. Unfortunately, being virgin was somehow mistakenly linked to barring S information for those pitiful girls. The problem lies in those great advisors who try to educate girls out of their own very personal experience!

There is also that phantom of the wedding night; around which I can confirm most of the girls’ talks revolve! The phantom is a creation of the Egyptian ignorance and gossip. A virgin girl, who knows nothing about S or has heard some fake gossip about terrible things happening in the wedding night, freaks out of the idea. Add to this the great heroic role of advisors who voluntarily explain how their wedding nights went.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! This is just stupid. I heard a girl once talking about how shy she was, and how tense she turned when her husband tried to approach her. Another very sweet girl tells how her husband tended to help her and this helped her relax. However, it does not stop at the edge of the wedding night.

Oddly enough, girls’ gossip around this goes further. A sweet lady goes deeper to describe how the relation is so hard in winter where she is chilled!

‘Come on stupid lady, don’t have S if you’re that much cold, but stop saying this to others as a kind of ill humor!’

For virgin girls, this resembles pouring a bucket of water on her head, because S is not an allowed area for herself, so whether you encourage or freak her out, the result is one; she is more terrified and even tenser.

S is about an action and a reaction. It is bound to very personal characteristics on both the male and female levels. Gossip about personal S issues is not like reading a scientific article about the same. It is a mere violation to the very personal.

Egyptian ladies, when you talk about this, you are like saying “come on others, watch!”

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